I wish I could teleport
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
