dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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