you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
