I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
