Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
