She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
