if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He kissed a someone with a penis
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
