Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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