he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I need a beard to bite.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
