I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
not ubering you a puppy
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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