i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
