I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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