so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I deserve this hangover.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
