what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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