i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
