I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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