Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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