He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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