I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
there is glitter all over my balls
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
