I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
