forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
