What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
