Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
