also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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