I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
