Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
