did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
