well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
