You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
