i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
