My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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