It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
