Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
