It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
