i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
