i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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