so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
