dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
