If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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