you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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