Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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