she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
