In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
