Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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