I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
