i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
