You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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