it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I wear drunk well.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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