Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
