How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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