dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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